So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
