is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
