you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
