We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
