STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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