if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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