she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize