My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
