So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize