@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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