Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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