God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
