I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize