Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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