so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
