Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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