Sry I called you an 8
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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