Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
