found the other keg... it's in the tree
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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