do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
