Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
