his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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