Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
