Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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