You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
