The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
