My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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