Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
