She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Mom said you looked used
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
