so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
