i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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