She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
