Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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