I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
