marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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