fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize