If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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