just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
