It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize