Already got asked if we're dating
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
