I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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