If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Little spoons don't ask big questions
vagina is talking i cant
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
