Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
