Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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