Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
handjob tips. give me some.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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