2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
