i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
