Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
