How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
