It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
