Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
