he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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