I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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