It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
