Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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