hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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