theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
