She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize